Food

You won’t find any little bowls of carefully weighed ingredients here, or any elaborate preparations or instructions. Goodness me no. The badly behaved approach is about creating good food with absolutely minimum faffing about. Yes, there’s some healthy eating but there’s also some guilt-free, calorie laden delights. Why eat mung beans if you can’t also have your cake and eat it?

Life is for living and food is for enjoying and on these pages I’ll show you how a little pinch of common sense, mixed with a dash of confidence and lashings of experimentation go an awfully long way.

Elefante he be cookin’!! Merry Mull(er)ed Wine! …

James Blog, Food, Humour

Welcome back to Elefante he be Cookin’ ! This is my festive edition at this special time when our days are filled with the Baby Jesus and the over consumption of our favourite boozes. So just in case you’re having problems getting as drunk as you would like I’m going to teach you Elefante’s Mull(er)ed Wine! So first open a …

How to make exceedingly good free range mince pies

Kim Food

I’m starting to get in the festive spirit so a packet of Mr Kipling mince pies caught my eye as I was food shopping the other day. I thought about buying the no doubt exceedingly tasty cakes until I remembered the British Hen Welfare Trust’s feather campaign   and … didn’t. You see the charity is trying to persuade the cake …

Easy Christmas bombombs – mini leftover cakes that pack a posher punch

Rebecca Food

You know those rogue Christmas gifts or rich leftovers that you ‘simply can’t have another mouthful of’ but don’t want to throw away? Heavy fruit cakes from Auntie Flatulence, booze laden puddings from Great Uncle Gout, or big lumps of marzipan that you don’t know what the hell to do with? I bring you bombombs – the perfect way to …

Elefante he be cookin’!! First up he make the Gazpacho…

James Food

  Welcome to the cooking exploits of Elefante – yes he’s an elephant and he really is cookin’!! Do you like soup ? (I mean who doesn’t, right?) And are you ridiculously lazy? (Again who isn’t, right??) Well this is for you. It’s soup and you don’t even have to cook it! Yes, you heard me right, let’s make uncooked …

THROWN TOGETHER QUICHE  

Kim Food

                             Pastry is one of the easiest things you can make. I’m talking short-crust here. I once made puff pastry and what an absolute arse that was. Unless you happen to have a ridiculous amount of time on your hands then some things are simply best bought …

CAKE BAKING – Don’t sweat the small stuff, just jooj

Rebecca Food

So, it’s a special occasion, you’ve made a huge effort baking a cake, so-and-so is just about to arrive, but your cake doesn’t say ‘celebrate’ it says ‘half-arsed’. You, my friend, need the art of ‘jooj’. Among other things, the Urban dictionary defines ‘jooj’ as ‘to make something appear more ‘put together quickly’.  The Guardian eloquently refers to ‘zhushing’ and …

Builders’ chocolate muffins

Kim Food

We have some builders in and they are being very helpful and considerate. There’s no god -awful mess and they’ve even been washing up their mugs. Perhaps best of all there is not a single ‘builder’s bum’ in sight anywhere. I am most thankful (and relieved) and decide they deserve some muffins with lots of chocolate therein. So in-between other …