Elefante he be cookin’!! Merry Mull(er)ed Wine! …

Welcome back to Elefante he be Cookin’ ! This is my festive edition at this special time when our days are filled with the Baby Jesus and the over consumption of our favourite boozes. So just in case you’re having problems getting as drunk as you would like I’m going to teach you Elefante’s Mull(er)ed Wine! So first open a bottle of good wine and drink at least half it.

Only Boil Cheap Wine
Only Boil Cheap Wine

This has the essential elements of any Elefante recipe. It requires a lot of wine, its a piece of piss and more wine.

Unusually this recipe actually has wine in it!!

And what’s even better you can use the cheapest crap plonk you can buy!!



Stuff that Goes in it
Stuff that Goes in it

OK the Ingredients:

  • One Bottle Cheap Red Wine
  • Desert Spoon of Cloves
  • Desert Spoon of Allspice
  •  Two Vanilla Sticks
  • Sliced Orange
  • Lemon Rind
  • Sugar to taste


First pour yourself another glass of wine (again about half a bottle). Then put all the ingredients in large cooking pot, and honestly you’re almost done!

Into the Pot
Into the Pot

Now briefly boil all the stuff then simmer or just simmer or boil who cares really, just make the stuff warm basically…

Let it simmer
Let it simmer you dimmer

Ok at this point you have made Mulled Wine, and if you are a lightweight or a very small child you may want to stop here. It tastes nice and all that but it really doesn’t have the required enhanced feeling of wellbeing or the illusion that all is good with your life.

Mull(er)ed Wine the Secret Ingredient
Mull(er)ed Wine the Secret Ingredient

You need The Elefante Secret Ingredient!! I’ve opted for a small splash (read as bottle) of dark rum, but anything over 40% proof will do. At this point I like to drink a couple of refreshing beers and any left over rum.

And Relax...
And Relax…

That’s it!! You’ve made your first Mull(er)ed Wine! Now enjoy a glass but remember to have a glass of normal wine every second glass to stop you dehydrating.

And don’t forget presentation is key. Merry Christmas from Elefanta Claus!!

See more of my antics at Elefante’s Blog !!

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